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Text File  |  1995-02-12  |  5KB  |  92 lines
  1.  
  2.                                      COLLEGE
  3.  
  4.                                        ***
  5.                                     THE COACH
  6.                     The star football player was flunking math
  7.                     and was about to be dropped from the team.
  8.                             The coach was interceding:
  9.                          "Look, we need Sam for the team.
  10.                           Give him one more chance, OK?"
  11.                             The math teacher replied,
  12.                                 "Ok, Ok! Johnnie,
  13.                          answer this one question right,
  14.                               and you'll pass math.
  15.                                  What is 5 X 5?"
  16.                               "25," replied Johnnie.
  17.                     "Come on, Give him just one more chance!"
  18.                                 begged the coach.
  19.                                        ***
  20.                                      TORNADO!
  21.                           Did you hear about the tornado
  22.                         at College Station? (Texas A & M).
  23.                  It did ten million dollars worth of improvement.
  24.                            They lost their new library
  25.                                 and its two books.
  26.                       They hadn't even been colored in yet.
  27.                                        ***
  28.                                  COLLEGE LARNIN'
  29.                      A father telephoned his son in college.
  30.                                     He asked,
  31.                     "What subjects you taking this semester?"
  32.                                   His son began,
  33.                      "Literature, earth science, algebra..."
  34.                            The father interrupted with,
  35.                         "Good!  Always wanted you to learn
  36.                     a foreign language.  Speak some algebra!"
  37.                The son, not wanting to embarrass his father, said.
  38.                              "A Equals PI R Square."
  39.                             After a moment of silence,
  40.                       the father slowly and soberly replied,
  41.                          "Son, I don't mean to go against
  42.                            what they are teaching you,
  43.                                  but pie's round.
  44.                               Cornbread are square."
  45.                                        ***
  46.                                      DEAR DAD
  47.                       A broke college student wrote his dad:
  48.                                     Dear Dad,
  49.                                      No mon,
  50.                                      No fun,
  51.                                     Your Son.
  52.                               His father wrote back:
  53.                                     Dear Son,
  54.                                      Too bad,
  55.                                      So sad,
  56.                                     Your dad.
  57.                                        ***
  58.                                  BEAUTY CONTEST
  59.                              When I was in college
  60.                            They had a beauty contest
  61.                                in the girls' dorm
  62.                                  and nobody won!
  63.                                        ***
  64.                                        HMMM
  65.                      A father telephoned his son in college:
  66.                         "What are you studying now, son?"
  67.                               "French syntax, dad."
  68.                      "Hmmm, they got a tax on that now, too?"
  69.                                        ***
  70.                                  FIND THAT FONE!
  71.                                 Our son could be 
  72.                                     very neat 
  73.                                or extremely messy.
  74.                           Once, when he was in college
  75.                         He could not find the telephone.
  76.                                   The solution?
  77.                              He walked down the hall
  78.                             and called his own number.
  79.                          His roommate found it by sound!
  80.                                        ***
  81.                                     THE DEANS      
  82.                              At the weekly meeting    
  83.                                of the Dean of Men
  84.                              and the Dean of Women, 
  85.                                     she said,
  86.                             "There's been too much
  87.                                  kissin' goin' on 
  88.                              right under our noses!"
  89.                                        ***
  90.                                        
  91.                                        END
  92.